Furbrain: we help pets rule...you.

PET ON THE HEAD? // THAT'S FURBRAIN. // USE EXTREME CAUTION IF SYMPTOMS OF FURBRAIN OCCUR. DO NOT USE HEAVY MACHINERY OR MAKE IMPORTANT FINANCIAL DECISIONS IF YOU BELIEVE YOU HAVE FURBRAIN. // THAT'S FURBRAIN. // USE EXTREME CAUTION IF SYMPTOMS OF FURBRAIN OCCUR. DO NOT USE HEAVY MACHINERY OR MAKE IMPORTANT FINANCIAL DECISIONS IF YOU BELIEVE YOU HAVE FURBRAIN. //

Furbrain™ is caused by exposure to endearing pets. Common symptoms include warmth, tingling in the heart or head areas, high-pitched voice, and sudden onset of feelings that may include tranquility and hysteria. People of all ages are at increased risk of Furbrain due to a heightened release of dopamine and serotonin in the brain. Over 79% of adults are infected with Furbrain. And children are at even greater risk. There is no known cure for Furbrain.

If you have Furbrain, you’re not alone. Millions of people living with Furbrain lead normal productive lives.

HOW TO PREVENT FURBRAIN.

Furbrain is contagious. So the best way to avoid Furbrain is to not be near any pets of any type. Also avoid conversations with people already infected with Furbrain, as they’re more likely to talk about cute pets. This type of indirect exposure has led to Furbrain transmission in rare cases.

Have pet on the head? That’s Furbrain.

PETS RULE...YOU.

Exhibit 1: This person has Furbrain. Notice how expressionless the dog is as the woman closes her eyes. But when she opens them, the dog, will have instinctively stricken an "adorable" position.